there's something about the looks that i'm afraid of, that even though sometimes i deal with it, don't so a certain thing, it's because i  don't want that the judgmental thought going through other peoples minds, that is what stops me. i want to experience new things and  go after what i want, but  it's what they are going to think about me is what i'm afraid of. as much as i don't care what complete strangers think of me its the people i'm close with who i'm more afraid aren't going to like me.

i don't want to scare you, i messed that up, it was my own fault you could be different don't let me set the fate of your relationship. 

the thing is, i'm completely fine. kinda of. but i could be happy i really can, it's just when i see other people down and sad and  i think to myself, why am i happy i can't be happy when the ones i love aren't. but i don't know what to do to get them happy too.

i know it was my choice
but i couldnt believe my own lie
and now i miss your voice


remember when you were mine
the texts you sent
with a less than equal sign


those three syllables
now lying on the ground
left me unwound


the thoughts i conjour
they aint the cure
but they've been with me from the start
they can mend my heart

seriously.

life's like a piano




the white keys representing happiness

and the black keys representing

the Sadness \\ in between \\

but as life goes on

you'll realize the black keys make music, too



♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

buddah 

have you ever had so much to say that your mouth closed up tight, struggling to harness the nuclear forces coalescing within your words?

have you ever had so many thoughts churning inside that you didnt dare let them escape, incase they blew you wide  open?

have you ever been so angry that you couldnt look in the mirror for fear of finding the face of evil glaring back at you?



In 2O1O,

beauty is eyeliner and hair straighteners, mascara and hair gel.

In 2010, you are pretty if you have a Northface, HCo skinnies, & a

pair of Uggs. In 2010, you pay 24.99 for a t-shirt, just cause

it comes for an over-perfumed, dimly-lit store that playes music that

gives you a migraine. In 2010, we are afraid to text him first, cause

that would be "clingy." In 2010, we create all these silly excuses for

ourselves. In 2010, we sit at home crying over a guy that doesn't care.

In 2010, we hate, we lie, we backstab, we decieve, and we

fight for all the wrong things. In 2010, we lie to our old friends to

impress our new ones. In 2010, we think twice and said "Why?"

But you know what? Let's change all that. Let's try this all over again,

In 2O11.

one day
everything will be easy,

 until then just gotta

p r e t e n d

it is one day.

 why does adversity scare people so much, why are peopls so quick to judge when somethings different or when people refuse to assimilate and become the same exact carbon copy of every single other person in society. why is it if you want to be your own person you want to stand out theres always those people there that are looking down on you that will never accept you? why does it mean so much to people that we're all the same or that some are better than others. something different doesnt always have to be looked on negatively take it in learn from it, don't judge so quickly.

frankly it scares me.

but i'd never tell him that

M o m : W h a t d i d you l e a r n i n s c h o o l t o d a y ?



hmm.. let's see; i learned that girls are bitches. guys are dicks.


people arent who they say they are. everyone changes either for the better


or the worse. that people judge you on every single little thing you do. that


sometimes, the only one you can trust is yourself. how there are so many


depressed people in the school, that if you took a survey, over half of the


students you would find have had suicidal thoughts. or maybe they


smoked, drank, gotten high, maybe even had sex a few times. school is a


place where it's either a living hell, or your own kingdom. everyones different,


but what i learned in school? different is weird. so now, people do


anything they can to fit in; to make themselves feel better. i learned that


the world is pathetic, sad, place, and we're the ones who made it that way.


Yo u : N o t h i n g

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."



— Marilyn Monroe

honestly i could care less if you like the same bands as me if you read the same books as me just tell me one original things, tell me one true, real thing that brings me to my fucking knees that i've never heard before and i'm yours

mhmmm

[( s i t s i d e b y s i d e w i t h o u t a w o r d )]

because they hurt each other for reasons unheard

shoulder to cry on.

it's great to have those people there that will always be there for you, they absolutely love you and put your needs before them, those people are amazing and when you find them keep them close to your heart don't take them for granted. those are going to be the people that you can one hundred percent count on and will love you no matter what and stay by your side and take care of you when your a mess. keep these people close cause they are your true friends. <3

love you guys u.k.w.u.r.

mhmm.

As you blaze gloriously through your life, remember to take time to acknowledge the feelings of those around you. If you forget, you could unconsciously hurt someone you love. But, if you remain aware your impact, others can benefit from your presence.

go ahead judge me

Go right ahead ;

Point out my flaws,

it won't make you any prettier.

Tell me how stupid i am,

it won't make you any smarter.

Call me a whore,

it won't make you any classier.

Call me a bitch,

it won't make you any nicer.

So go ahead, J U D G E M E ;

& i'll prove you wrong

mhmm..

does anyone else feel invisible sometimes?

and at times so completely lost.

does anyone else feel  hopless sometimes?

poem stuffs

a lonely girl stands off to the side

she waits as the world passes her by

her eyes are screaming 

and inside she wishes she was dreaming

all these things she's persued 

are things she'd promise she'd never do

her lips cry for help  but no one sees her

and she feels there is no cure

she starts to crumble 

she trips and stumbles

she finally falls she stays down she'd had enough of it all

what does she do when shes all alone

and her heart turns to stone

battle wounds form across her arms

to her each one is like a charm

 all with a purpose and a meaning, her hearts speeding

she doesnt mind what she's done

because she's finally felt like she's won

i miss you.

hey, remember me? your best friend or atleast i thought so. we always said we'd be friends forever i guess forever was quicker than i though. why are still pretending were so close when we know were not. you dont know anything about me anymore, do you? it's alright to say yes because i dont know anything about you anymore. can i ask you something? are you happy without me? do you feel the same way i do? do you constantly think about how things have changed? i dont know, i do all the time, but maybe its just me, maybe im just jealous or something, but i get it now though cause i've always been second best, i feel like you were always chasing after other people and you didnt want to be friends with me anymore.  and i was tired of waiting for you to come around. you realize i still love you as me best friend but i never know whats going on with you anymore guess we just grew apart, and all in a school year. can you remember back in the summer how much time we spent together and how close we were? now compare it to now, see the drastic difference,  do you see it? because sometimes i dont think you do. but as long as your happy im happy too. so take care stranger, i miss you...

just capture the moment and don't let anything else matter, cause if you care to much

about the past and worry to much about the future you won't have

time to think about right now

so many emotions to many to handle

So Many Emotions
To Many To Handle.

              

music

I love music. No, it's not my life, no it's not the air I breathe
and yes, I   c a n   survive without it. But music is like a drug,
something that can calm you down,  something that can rev
you up.    The lyrics make you think, make you learn, make
you feel;   the melody resonates inside your head; the beat
rattles your bones. That is, of course, real music. Not the
auto-tuned-to-perfection lyrics-you-didn't-write clumsily mashed together.
I'm talking  [  the raw guitar  ],    [  the original lyrics  ],
[imperfect voices]. The music you like shouldn't be about
that song you dance to  w i t h o u t  paying attention to the
words. If it really speaks to you, really hits home,  [g o o d].
You've found your new best friend.
You've found something that  just can't be taken away,
something that will forever have a place in your heart   &
mind. You’ve found something that will never leave you,
will never walk away or break a promise. Music is like the
perfect escape from reality,     the best venting tool, the
 e p i t o m e  of love, anything you want it to be. Music is
simply perfection  ♥

you want the truth?

we live in a world where we're all propped up on lies, you want the truth well you can't handle the truth, you really want to know what people think of you, what people say about you, how people perceive you as a person because if your actually told the truth then your gonna wanna plug your ears shut out what they have to say because the truth is harsh, and you can't take it. everybody is given false hope, theyre propped on people sympathizing with them, and disregarding the bad things, when you know exactly whats going to happen you just don't want to say it because it will hurt the other person feelings. Even the strongest people can't handle the truth there's always that part of the truth where it just wants to break you down and make you cry. As I've once read the sad truth is the truth is sad. nobody wants the full truth in any situation, no matter how bad you think you do. saying the truth is a hard thing to do and when its built up inside over time it will slowly come out. the truth isn't always bad but the truth that you keep locked in is. there's always that one thing you wish you could tell someone, or how strongly you want to express your feelings of what you think the truth is. Usually when people are angry they give you the straight up truth what they really think, and for others its there eating you alive but the truth is bound to come out eventually the problem is if the world is ready for it or not.