there's something about the looks that i'm afraid of, that even though sometimes i deal with it, don't so a certain thing, it's because i  don't want that the judgmental thought going through other peoples minds, that is what stops me. i want to experience new things and  go after what i want, but  it's what they are going to think about me is what i'm afraid of. as much as i don't care what complete strangers think of me its the people i'm close with who i'm more afraid aren't going to like me.

i don't want to scare you, i messed that up, it was my own fault you could be different don't let me set the fate of your relationship. 

the thing is, i'm completely fine. kinda of. but i could be happy i really can, it's just when i see other people down and sad and  i think to myself, why am i happy i can't be happy when the ones i love aren't. but i don't know what to do to get them happy too.